THE POWER OF THE LOVING EMBRACE
In marriage counseling sessions, I have on several occasions heard women say to their husbands, “When I am angry like that, all I really need is for you to hold me.” Some couples have reportedly tried this during arguments, with surprising success. When parents are dealing with an angry child, one of the most effective interventions is for the parent to hold the child from behind, firmly, and not aggressively, while saying, “I will not let you hurt yourself or me. I love you. You are safe now.” These words must be repeated in soothing tones, using no reprimand or raised voice, until the child calms down. Several parents have reported amazing results with this, saying that the child’s anger was much more controlled after one or two of these interventions.
This action takes great courage. To embrace an angry person, child or adult, requires a large degree of self-confidence and faith. There is a word in the Spanish language, coraje, which means both anger and courage. The true spiritual warrior has coraje, combined with love and positive action. The familiar story of the woman who lifted the front end of a truck off of her son’s body and saved his life, gives us a great example of the spiritual warrior. Her faith, love and courage gave her the strength to do something she would otherwise never have been able to do. When someone we love is held in the crushing grip of destructive anger, we are called on to embrace them with coraje and love. Love is the most powerful force in the universe. When it is combined with courage and healthy anger, no destructive force can stand in its way.
